CANDIES & CIGARETTES

(via the-absolute-funniest-posts)

the-absolute-funniest-posts:

h-u-m-o-u-r:

Is that cole sprouse

Forever reblog lmkgtooohopoknl

(Source: poopinginschool)

the-absolute-best-posts:

niknak79:

How they queue in Thailand

analofthelord:

IM CRYINF FACE SWAP RECOHNISED JENSEN’S EAR AS A FACE

(Source: mishavevo, via the-absolute-funniest-posts)

stuckupteen:

me arriving late to your funeral

(Source: ahmedjones, via czarinagarcia)

beautilation:

Dolphins scare the shit out of me. They’re so smart and I love their smiles and watching videos of their aquatic altruism… but it turns out dolphins- especially bottlenose dolphins like these can be all SORTS of fucked up. See those smiles? Not happy smiles. Not happy smiles.

1. They rapin’ everybody up here. Male dolphins are known to gang rape other dolphins- both male and female- for reasons that are not clear. Unlike sexual aggression in other mammals, dolphins do not focus their attacks on their own species; dolphins have been known to attack human swimmers and other sea creatures. With female dolphins, two or more will chase her for hours until she is too tired to swim, and one will “hold her down” as the other rapes her. When it comes to humans, dolphins use their large “boa constrictor”-like penis to grab ankles, wrists, or genitals and drag the swimmer down to attack them.
2. They practice infanticide, aka BABY MURDER. Another mysterious and disturbing occurrence in the dolphin world is the seemingly senseless and random acts of bashing baby dolphin calves to death in some parts of the world’s dolphin population. Killing babies, however, is not unique to humans and dolphins; sometimes when a new lion takes over a pride, he will kill all of the existing cubs in front of their mothers to show that he will not care for other lions’ babies. Which is the biggest dick move and I wish lionesses could understand the concept of “take down the patriarchy”, but at the very least, scientists understand why they do it (and if it’s any help to your shattered image of Mufasa, the male does it by biting the jugular of the cub so it is rather quick.) The dolphins killing healthy calves has scientists like WTF because they do not have these sorts of staunchly organized and exclusive pods and do not usually have any sort of problem with non-family members or their babies joining a pod. The second part is how just plain brutal the killings are- the calves are literally bashed to death. The autopsies of these calves showed broken and fractured bones all over the body, ruptured organs, numerous bite marks among other atrocities. One incident caught on videotape was an adult bottlenose dolphin butting a calf for 53 straight minutes- that is what is scary. They do this for brutal enjoyment.
   
3. They might be sexual/thrill killers too. - With most animals, the only reason for killing outside of their species would be for defense, for food, or to knock out food competition. Other than humans, dolphins seem to be the only other species that perhaps kills for the sick thrill or out of some psychosexual dysfunction. Porpoises- a smaller relative to the dolphin- have been washing up dead all around the world in alarming numbers, with the cause of death being, almost always, dolphin attacks. Since porpoises are peaceful creatures who do not eat the same diet as dolphins and thus are not competition for food, there should be no reason for a dolphin to kill a porpoise. And yet porpoises have been killed and sexually assaulted by single or gangs of dolphins for what seems to be for the sheer brutality. Necropsies of porpoise corpses show multiple fractures from blunt force trauma to their bodies, bite marks and scrapings on their genital area- meaning that they were sexually assaulted before being killed. 

So there you fucking have it. But before you get too broken hearted, I’d like to leave you with an excerpt from one of the sources I had for this information, Dr. George Johnson: “So what do we learn from this? Well, for one thing, I’d be pretty careful about swimming with wild dolphins, an increasingly popular sport. Second, it is instructive to ask how we got it so wrong, so long. The answer, of course, can be seen in our instinctive defense of Flipper: “With that smile, Flipper can’t be a killer!” Conditioned by a lifetime of Disney, we impart to animals our own emotions and feelings. We think of Flipper as friendly and playful because that’s how we see him in movies, and how we want him to be. Nature, however, did not see the movie and does not care what we want. Dolphins are what they are. We can choose to see them, or ignore what they are and see ourselves instead, as Disney does. 

I try to explain to my children that we should look at nature for what it is, and not as a mirror of our own feelings. I took my daughter to the zoo today and we tried to really LOOK at the animals. When you do, you begin to truly see them. They don’t tell us about ourselves, but themselves. The animals at the zoo are but a small part of the rich tapestry that is life on earth. Violence and killing is part of this tapestry, and that should not surprise us. But it is only one part. Don’t shut your eyes to nature like Disney does. Disneyfication of nature is not loving nature, but ignoring it. Don’t look back on your lost friendship with Flipper with regret; go to the zoo and really look. A delicious diversity awaits you.”

(Source: rock-my-fucking-socks-off)